From: kfl@clark.net (Keith Lynch)
Newsgroups: news.admin.net-abuse.email
Subject: Netcom (was Re: Spammer responses to CCd complaints (was Re: Spammer forges retraction of my spam complaint))
Date: 17 Jan 1998 21:49:40 GMT

In article <69r5qe$p9a$1@news.duke.edu>,  <akelly@walras.econ.duke.edu> wrote:
> Some twit at Netcom selling Belizean citizenship sent me death
> threats.  Netcom's response was, of course, 'we will warn this
> user.'

What if Netcom was in charge of the criminal justice system?

  reno@fbi.gov wrote:
  > We have completed our investigation of the Oklahoma City bombing.
  > Enclosed please find overwhelming evidence of the guilt of
  > Timothy McVeigh and Terry Nichols for this mass murder of 168
  > innocent people.  Please take appropriate action.  Thank you.

  Hello.

  We have contacted those two citizens in regards to your complaint.
  Those particular citizens have been warned of his or her actions,
  and our records of the instance have been updated. If you receive
  any further actions from these citizens, please contact us again
  immediately.  We will then take immediate measures to ensure the
  United States and its citizens aren't further inconvenienced by
  these citizens' inappropriate action.

  We are prepared to either imprison or execute the citizens if we
  consider the action necessary.  Be assured that any notice you send
  in regard to the actions of a US citizen will be considered with the
  utmost reverence.

  We rely on you to report on the actions of US citizens who might be
  breaking the laws.  If you don't receive a response immediately,
  please be patient, we will reply.

  Thank you and have a nice day.

  Matt
  NETCOM Policy Management

  police@police.fl.us wrote:
  > We have completed our investigation of the rapes and murders of
  > several dozen young women.  Enclosed please find overwhelming
  > evidence of the guilt of Ted Bundy.  Note that he had escaped
  > from jail in another state where he was awaiting trial on
  > similar charges.  Please take appropriate action.  Thank you.

  Hello.

  We have contacted that particular citizen in regards to your
  complaint.  That particular citizen has been warned of his or her
  actions, and our records of the instance have been updated. If you
  receive any further actions from that citizen, please contact us
  again immediately.  We will then take immediate measures to ensure the
  United States and its citizens aren't further inconvenienced by this
  citizen's inappropriate action.

  We are prepared to either imprison or execute the citizen if we
  consider the action necessary.  Be assured that any notice you send
  in regard to the actions of a US citizen will be considered with the
  utmost reverence.

  We rely on you to report on the actions of US citizens who might be
  breaking the laws. If you don't receive a response immediately, please
  be patient, we will reply.

  Thank you and have a nice day.

  Thank you and have a nice day.

  Thank you and have a nice day.

  Thank you and ha *kick*

  Eric
  NETCOM Policy Management